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Relationship Advice for Men: "I'm afraid that I've lost her to another man!"

By Otto Collins

Jason never ever thought that this would happen.

When an acquaintance told him that she saw his long-term girlfriend in the arms of another man, he initially dismissed it as just a rumor. But, the "rumor" turned into worrisome suspicion when Jason noticed that his girlfriend, Erin, was acting strangely.

He began to pay attention to Erin's behavior more closely and what he saw upset him. Recently, she has been more secretive and distant from him than ever before.

What Jason used to think was just Erin being busy with a new position at work is now real suspicion that she is cheating.

Jason is afraid that he's lost the love of his life to another man and he doesn't know what to do about it.

If you suspect that your woman is lying to you and possibly cheating too, you might be feeling a confused and upset. In fact, you might have already taken action based on your suspicions.

Perhaps you confronted your partner and accused her of lying to you or having an affair. Maybe you have remained silent about it, but you have been checking out her story to make sure it all adds up.

What you probably want most is to know-- once and for all-- what is going on so that you can decide your next move.

Get clear and reliable facts.
It will not help you and it certainly won't help your relationship for you to go off and confront your woman (or another man) about an affair when you don't have reliable proof to back up your suspicions.

Take some time to get very clear about what you do know and what you don't yet know. It's not necessarily wise to dismiss a gut feeling, but it's also not wise to act on it without checking it out first.

It's helpful to come up with a baseline record of how your woman usually acts, looks, dresses, communicates with you, is intimate with you and other information.

This baseline is your point from which to compare how she usually is and how she is now.

Just because she's changed does not automatically mean she's cheating. It is, however, a place to gather more information.

Follow any trail of inconsistencies and see where it leads.

What if she isn't having an affair?
If you don't find any evidence that she is having an affair, there still might be cause for concern about your relationship. Whatever made you suspect that she was lying or cheating in the first place could be an indicator of disconnection between the two of you.

Again, try to get to clear and reliable information. Don't rely on assumptions about what you guess might be causing her to pull away from you.

Instead, think about what has possibly changed about your relationship by noticing observable actions (or lack of actions).

Also, take a look at the habits that you've always had that may have finally driven a wedge between you and your woman.

Before you communicate with your partner about your worries that you have "lost her," try to be clear within yourself about what is really going on.

Then, bring to the conversation an understanding of habits that you two might want to change and any propose agreements you'd like to make with her.

Make your decision.
Ultimately, you need to decide whether to stay in this relationship or to leave it.

There are plenty of examples of couples who have
rebuilt trust and their relationship after lying and infidelity. There are plenty of couples who have drifted apart from one another and then turned things around.

There are also plenty of examples of couples who, for whatever reason, were not able to rebuild trust and regain their connection.

You need to weigh your collection of facts and reliable information and listen well to yourself and to what you want most for your future. This will help you decide your next move.
Get tips and information for how to improve your relationship with your woman.

Otto Collins
teaches men the secrets to lighting up
their woman and offers a free report: "The 10 Biggest Relationship & Passion-Killing Mistakes Men Make and What To Do About Them" when you
sign up for his FREE relationship advice newsletter for men at







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Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins
PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling 614-459-8121.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email

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