Romantic Tips to Turn Up the Heat in Your
By Susie and Otto Collins
Do you wistfully remember the sweet gifts and love letters
your partner bestowed on you before and while you dated.
Perhaps you remember those butterflies in the stomach
sensations that seem a distant memory.
It might have seemed as if you two were the only people in
the world, holding hands, kissing endlessly, and even making
love passionately for hours at a time.
Now your life
together may be
filled with so many other things that you feel more pulled
apart instead close together as you were before. You might
want to re-kindle passion between yourself and your mate but
not know how to get it back.
Ellen often wishes she could turn back time and have her
husband Ken turn into the romantic guy he seemed to be when
they first got together.
It seems that he just doesn't have
time anymore for those little touches in their relationship
that made her feel so special. Some days Ellen even cries as
she sifts through a box of love poems and cards Ken created
for her years ago.
With a bit of refocusing and looking at your partner in a
new way, Ellen and Ken-- as well as you and your partner--
can enjoy romance in your relationship that lasts. Believe
it or not, it starts before you even get to the bedroom.
Here are 4 ways to infuse your relationship with more
romance and they may surprise you...
#1: Even if you are busy or tired, open your heart to your
partner. Opening your heart means taking the time to listen
and understand your partner. It means telling your partner
what's important to you and not making assumptions.
It means not using the "I'm tired" or "Not tonight, I have a
headache" excuse to stop love-making. Be honest about why
you aren't in the mood and take a few moments to connect in
Ellen realizes that she is often tired when Ken wants to
connect with her. Just as she's ready to settle down with a
good book before sleep, he seems to appear wanting to talk
or make love.
As she makes the intention to enjoy more
romance in her relationship, Ellen acknowledges that Ken
does make time for connection-- it's just not always
when she wants it.
She decides to open up to connecting when
Ken comes to her as well as extending herself to him when
she is wanting to be close.
#2: Never go to bed angry. Of all the couples we've talked
with and interviewed who have been married 30, 40, and 50
years, this is the most consistent advice they have given
Take some time when a conflict comes up between the two
of you to talk it out. Listen to each other with love and
#3: Be generous with sincere compliments and
appreciation. Sincere compliments and appreciation can
uplift you and your partner-and can draw you closer. So
often a compliment or a word of thanks is followed up by a
complaint. If this is your habit, stop doing it.
Ellen also realizes that she tends to be critical of Ken and
to use him as the receiver of her daily frustrations.
She's beginning to understand why he doesn't write love
poems anymore-- especially as she thinks back to some recent
criticisms she's made of him!
With this clearer view, Ellen
resolves to give Ken at least one sincere compliment each
#4: Continue to explore each other. There's always something
new you can learn about your loved one, even if you have
been together for many years. Don't assume that you know
everything about your partner.
These are just a few ideas you could try to begin
rekindling the trust and passion between the two of you
which can help keep your relationship alive, passionate and
filled with love.
At any moment, you an open up to the love that's there for
you. The choice is yours to see it, receive it and share in
We hope that you'll join us in choosing love more of the