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How Spying Can and Does Change a Love Relationship or Marriage
By Susie and Otto Collins

Jessica is desperate to know the truth.

Her boyfriend Bob has been acting weird lately-- he's been more secretive and distant. It is more and more difficult for Jessica not to think that he's cheating.

She has considered asking him upfront, but something inside her questions whether she would believe him. This wouldn't be the first time that Bob has been evasive or dishonest with her.

So now Jessica wants to know if he is having an affair. They've been together too long for Jessica to just throw away their relationship because of worrisome suspicions-- she always thought they'd marry one

On the other hand, Jessica doesn't want to waste another minute with Bob if he is lying and cheating.

She is considering spying on him to find out the truth.

Spying on your partner can have significant effects on your love relationship or marriage.

If you are considering spying because you want to know whether or not your mate is lying and possibly cheating, there are a few things you need to consider first...

  • If you are caught spying, any trust the exists in your relationship might be destroyed.

  • If you are caught spying, your partner may become really upset with you.

  • When you spy, you are violating someone else's privacy.

  • When you spy, there is a potential for breaking laws-- you could be fined or even go to jail.

  • There is no guarantee that your questions will be sufficiently answered by spying.

We aren't trying to frighten you or tell you that it's not okay to spy.

From our experience working with countless individuals and couples over the years, we know that there are times when the only way to obtain reliable information about your suspicions is to spy.

We encourage you to really think about these risks you are about to take BEFORE you check your partner's phone records, e-mail or social
networking accounts or take some other spying action.

Please consult with an attorney if you have concerns about the legality of what you are about to do.

Have you already made up your mind?
One initial question to ask yourself before you start to spy is this: "Have I already decided that my mate is (or is not) lying and cheating?"

If you have, how firmly is this assessment fixed in your mind?

When you set about gathering information, you really need to have as open a mindset as you possibly can.

Of course, you aren't going to approach this in a completely unbiased way-- otherwise, you wouldn't
have had suspicions in the first place.

Take some time to check in with yourself about how much your mind might already be made up about these questions.

Some people find that they are already gearing up to leave this relationship. They are done.

If so, you might not feel the need to spy after all.

This is your decision to make. There just as many possible reasons to support you not spying as there are to support you spying.

Can you keep the door to rebuilding trust open?
Jessica has weighed the risks of spying. She's also determined that she is still very confused and uncertain about why Bob might be acting the way that he is.

For this reason, Jessica has decided to spy.

She is not sure how she will get more information, but she does notice that Bob spends a lot of time on the internet-- even when she is over at his house for a dinner date. She may start there.

The tricky thing about spying is that most people spy because trust is weak in their relationship. As we mentioned above, spying can cause even more damage to trust.

If there is a chance that you want to stay in this relationship, you'll probably need to rebuild trust sometime in the future.

As you choose how you will go about gathering information to make an assessment of what is really going on with your partner, try to keep
a door open to potentially rebuilding trust.

This can be a fine line to navigate.

Again, we can't make this determination for you. We can't even say for sure if reading your partner's private e-mail is more or less destructive to trust than literally following him or her around, for

These answers have to come from within you.

The point we're really trying to drive home here is that spying should not be taken lightly.

It is a sometimes necessary step to getting your questions answered.

We advise you to take this step fully knowing the risks, exploring possible alternatives first and making the most self-informed decision you possibly can.
Would you like more help dealing with your suspicions?

Click here for Susie and Otto Collins' FREE report: "The 12 Biggest Relationship-Killing Mistakes You Could Be Making If You Suspect Your Man Is Lying or Cheating"







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Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins
PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling 614-459-8121.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email

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